Previously, sexologists divided the orgasm in women into vaginal (arising from the stimulation of the vaginal walls) and clitoral (arising from the stimulation of the clitoris). Both types of orgasm were considered physiologically identical.
However, at present, many sexologists believe that the orgasm in the vast majority of women is associated with the clitoris, and it plays an important role in the occurrence of orgasm. Small lips enhance this sensation.
The sexologist Nargini, when measuring 200 women the distance from the center of the urethra to the posterior edge of the clitoris, came to the conclusion that the orgasm does not appear if this distance is more than 2.5 centimeters, since during normal sexual intercourse in this case there is no contact of the penis with the clitoris and, accordingly, there is no stimulation of it.
Therefore, normal sexual intercourse without stimulation of the clitoris does not cause orgasm. This is a normal variant of a woman’s sexual response.
In cases where the sexual partner does not use this method of stimulation, and as a result, the woman does not have an orgasm, we are not talking about anorgasmia (frigidity).
If a woman is capable of experiencing orgasm with adequate stimulation and does not experience it with improper or insufficient stimulation, this is also not an issue with orgasmic disorder.
Lack of orgasm is considered sexual dysfunction only if a woman receives adequate (correct) stimulation of all erogenous zones from the sexual partner, including the clitoris, but her ability to experience orgasm is much lower (or absent) than is commonly believed in her age and sexual experience.
In other words, if a woman does not have an orgasm with a bad sexual partner, a sexual egoist, a rude man who displays a genital type of behavior, that is, the desire only to get satisfaction on her own, then this does not mean her pathology (anorgasmia), but her partner’s pathology ( hypermasculine behavior).
In addition, inhibited orgasm (anorgasmia) in women is considered a dysfunction if orgasm is not achieved not only through sexual intercourse, but also during masturbation. Women who can at least sometimes achieve orgasm using one of these methods are not considered to be patients with anorgasmia.
Some women do not experience orgasm during the first sexual intercourse, and during repeated sexual intercourse they have an orgasm. The sexologist Shtekel, having interviewed several hundred women, found that only in 4% of cases did they have an orgasm during their first sexual intercourse.
Thus, if a partner is able to have only one sexual intercourse per evening, then her partner regularly remains unsatisfied, although in this case, if a woman is able to experience an orgasm during repeated sexual intercourse, anorgasmia is not discussed either.
According to A. Gelman, of the women examined by him, 48% feel pleasure during sexual intercourse, indifference – 29%, disgust – 14%, indifference – 8%.
Sometimes the so-called “cold” women feel the need for sexual intercourse 1 time in 2-4 months or even less.
As already mentioned, most women in their sex lives learn to imitate an orgasm, and quite skillfully, and their sexual partners do not even suspect a woman’s anorgasmia. For this reason, many women do not want to consult a sex therapist, since this involves interviewing their sexual partner, and then their imitation of an orgasm will become known to the partner.
Some women believe that if a man finds out that she is not experiencing an orgasm, this can negatively affect their relationship, first of all, the man’s attitude to her will change, he will consider her “cold”, “frigid”, he won’t to experience sufficient sexual and psychological satisfaction from sexual intercourse, if his partner is constantly unsatisfied.
Most normal men are not indifferent to what kind of feelings a partner experiences during intercourse. If she behaves passively and indifferently, and after a sexual intercourse she frowns or is dissatisfied, because she has not experienced anything pleasant, then this negatively affects the man. And if he is sure that he constantly gives her pleasure, then this gives him self-confidence, and the sight of a woman experiencing a real orgasm excites him even more.
The second reason for the woman’s desire to hide anorgasmia is the fear that this can negatively affect the man’s potency, since in this case he will consider that he is not able to satisfy his sexual partner. Most women don’t want this and blame the lack of orgasm only on themselves and not on their sexual partner, although this is not their fault, and most often the man is to blame, because he does not provide adequate sexual stimulation of his partner’s erogenous zones, “calming down”, that she already has an orgasm.
This wrong tactic of both partners leads them to a dead end, and first of all, a woman. The man believes that their sexual relations are normal, he satisfies his partner, so he does not seek to diversify his affection, and the woman has no prospect of changing this situation. Therefore, an imitation of orgasm causes the greatest harm to the woman herself.
The inability of a woman to have an orgasm, in turn, can cause interpersonal conflicts between sexual partners, guilt, low mood, and can lead to the desire to evade sexual intimacy, which creates an enchanted circle and further enhances sexual dysfunction.
Truly frigid women are actually not so many. Many more sexually unaware women who mistakenly consider themselves unable to experience orgasm. And in most cases, the fault is the incorrect behavior of the sexual partner.
When such women, who have been married for many years and did not experience any pleasant sensations or experienced only initial excitement, but did not have an orgasm, find a normal sexual partner who is concerned not only with their own feelings, but also really interested in the woman being satisfied , – everything normalizes with them, and an orgasm with this partner occurs regularly. But this is only possible if he will always be just as attentive to her and will take care of her satisfaction, using the entire arsenal of sexual caresses that this woman needs.
And often a woman is very grateful and attached to such a sexual partner, and even if a man has many shortcomings, she forgives him everything.
No wonder they say that a good lover is not a young handsome man with a gorgeous figure and a giant penis who cares only about himself and his own pleasure, but a small, bald man of mature age with a penis of very medium size, but with great sexual experience, who knows perfectly all women’s weaknesses and ways of their sexual satisfaction. There are many examples in this book to support this widespread belief.
Sexual dissatisfaction in many women is manifested in their erotic fantasies.
The lack of orgasm negatively affects the nervous system and the whole body of a woman. Sexologist Shtekel wrote that after intercourse without orgasm, a woman often complains of nervous excitement, general depression, poor health and depression. Lack of sexual satisfaction can lead to neurosis and hysterical reactions. This causes migraines, irritability, depression, and depression. Some women feel “inferior” due to the fact that they are not able to experience an orgasm.
Usually, those women who have primary anorgasmia are quite calm about this and do not experience any suffering. But those women who previously experienced an orgasm, and then, for whatever reason, are deprived of this, very poorly tolerate their sexual dissatisfaction.
The lack of orgasm leads to congestion in the genitals, and subsequently women experience menstrual irregularities, sore menstruation, uterine bleeding, endometritis, parametritis, oophoritis and other diseases of the female genital area.
Sexopathologists and gynecologists believe that the absence of an orgasm leads to neoplasms in the uterus. Many women with uterine fibroids and other tumors suffer from impaired sexual function.
Difficulties in maintaining sexual arousal in women may be due to psychological conflicts with a sexual partner or for another reason. They can be caused by anxiety, depression, guilt, fear of becoming pregnant. The role of hormonal drugs or certain drugs also plays a role.
In itself, a violation of sexual arousal can also lead to interpersonal conflicts with a sexual partner, depression, guilt, and become a stress factor or significantly aggravate the mental state caused by another traumatic situation.
In some cases, sexual arousal is insufficient only when having sexual intercourse with a husband or partner, causing dislike or fear, and when changing partners, sexual arousal may be normal. This situational version of the sexual arousal disorder can also be observed in women living a normal sexual life.
As you know, many factors affect the strength of a marriage. Everyone knows how much of our old divorces. Almost two-thirds of modern marriages break up. Moreover, in 65%, divorce is initiated by women. A considerable percentage of divorces is associated with her husband’s drunkenness, but dissatisfaction with sexual relations also occupies a significant place as a reason for divorce.
Of course, no sane woman wants outsiders to discuss her intimate life, therefore, in a statement about a woman’s divorce, they write that she and her husband “did not agree on the characters,” and not “the husband does not satisfy me in bed.”
In addition, sexual dissatisfaction does not happen in isolated form. Usually it is accompanied by mutual discontent, reproaches, scandals, so the woman has every reason to say that family life did not work out, she and her husband constantly quarrel and sort things out. It is this argument that the woman leads, seeking a divorce.
Only a psychiatrist can tell a woman frankly. Therefore, most of all about the true causes of family scandals and divorces, psychiatrists and sexopathologists know.
So, men, if you do not want your mistresses to abandon you and your wives get divorced, you need to improve your sexual technique before it is too late.
Sexual relations are the interaction of two partners (a partner couple). Therefore, a man’s sexual abilities are evaluated not only in isolation, as his own qualities (strong sexual desire and ability to be quickly aroused, quality of an erection, ability to perform a long sexual intercourse without losing an erection and controlling ejaculation), but also in terms of sexual relations with a particular partner, then there, as part of an affiliate couple.
Even if a man has everything with potency, his sexual abilities may not be so crucial in a partner couple if the woman is not satisfied with sexual relations. In a specific partner couple, where a woman does not experience orgasm due to the fact that she does not receive adequate (required) stimulation of the main erogenous zone (for example, the clitoris), a man cannot be regarded as a good sexual partner, even if he is capable of prolonged sexual intercourse. That is, this partner couple has sexual disharmony (dysgamy). And sexual harmony is a sexual life that satisfies both partners.
And with another sexual partner who has different erogenous zones and who needs exactly the stimulation that this man can exert (for example, the ability to have long sexual intercourse, which is adequate stimulation of the woman’s erogenous zone, if she has such a vagina), he may have harmonious sexual relationships. That is, here both partners are satisfied with sexual activity.
Therefore, the concept of norm in sexual relations is not absolute, but relative.
Thus, the normal sexual abilities of men are not yet a guarantee of sexual harmony. They acquire positive significance only if there is mutual sexual satisfaction, that is, sexual harmony in a given partner pair.
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