In some cases, insufficient sexual arousal in a man is due to the fact that the partner does not cause him sexual desire.
In vain, many women think that they are attractive to men only because they are women. You can only think like that if she is the only woman on a desert island and there are only men around, so there’s no one to choose from. And every man has opportunities for comparison and choice. There are many young, long-legged, attractive, sexually relaxed women, and the man has someone to choose from. But even if he has no chance to please a young and “sexy” woman, then at least he has the opportunity to compare the looks and attractiveness of his sexual partner with other girls and women, and quite possibly not in her favor.
It is difficult to understand the blurry middle-aged women who do not look after themselves and have long lost their feminine attractiveness when they complain about their husband that he does not satisfy them enough. If a woman wears 54 clothing sizes, she has a triple chin, her chest hangs, a huge belly, her waist has not existed for a long time, and the whole figure has swam with fat and is deformed, then her husband can be understood more quickly, rather than her complaints about him.
Many men who turn to specialists complaining of decreased sexual arousal and insufficient erection – are not attracted to their regular partner precisely because she has lost her former female and sexual attractiveness and does not excite him anymore.
No wonder they say that a woman “loves with her ears, and a man with her eyes.” A man during sexual intercourse is very exciting if he sees a naked female body. Intimate parts of the body are even more exciting. Therefore, most men prefer sex in the light, and women in complete darkness. Moreover, most often it is precisely those women who are embarrassed by the shortcomings of their figure.
One of the common causes of functional impotence is long breaks in sexual life.
If a man does not have a permanent sexual partner or his partner for any reason (illness, operation, difficult pregnancy with toxicosis, prolonged separation) cannot have sexual intercourse, then some sex therapists even recommend that men masturbate to maintain potency until the moment when the possibility of a normal sexual life will reappear.
Neurotic erection disorders can result from excessive sexual arousal, especially in young people.
From the point of view of psychoanalytic theory, the cause of impotence is a man’s inability to reconcile attachment to the same woman, or the ability to have a normal erection only in cases when the woman is in a humiliated state. The inability of a man to realize his anger or other negative emotions in a different way, according to supporters of the psychoanalytic concept, manifests itself in impotence.
Since sexual desire and sexual arousal are interconnected, all the reasons that negatively affect the attraction also affect erection.
As with a sexual desire disorder, some medications, alcohol and drug abuse may be a cause of decreased sexual arousal.
Impotence can be the result of so many medical reasons. Most modern sex therapists consider impotence a disorder associated with various nervous, mental, endocrine, urological and other diseases.
The physiological causes of impotence are inadequate blood flow to the genitals or accelerated blood outflow. The opinion that muscles participate in an erection is a mistake.
An old student medical bike is known when, on an anatomy exam, a student is offered to show where the “musculus elevator penis” is located, which in Latin means “muscle lifting the penis.” A confused student unsuccessfully strains his memory, and examiners immediately put him a “deuce”, since such a muscle does not exist.
In fact, an erection occurs when the cavernous bodies of the penis are filled with blood. Therefore, for a sufficient erection, normal arterial and venous blood flow is necessary, which contributes to the flow of blood and prevents its rapid outflow.
The cause of impotence can be many organic disorders and diseases of the internal organs, endocrine and nervous systems, infectious diseases, malnutrition, poisoning, surgery, radiation exposure, any serious debilitating disease, taking certain medications (for example, psychotropic drugs, drugs that reduce arterial pressure, hormonal drugs and others), alcohol and drug abuse, and smoking.
In particular, impotence can occur in diseases such as atherosclerosis, heart failure, aortic aneurysm, chronic renal failure, cirrhosis of the liver, respiratory failure, multiple sclerosis, tumors and injuries of the brain and spinal cord and other parts of the nervous system, progressive paralysis, mumps, vitamin deficiency, diabetes mellitus, acromegaly, Addison’s disease, myxedema, hyperthyroidism, adrenal tumors, pelvic fractures.
This is not a complete list of diseases that can cause impotence. But this listing already shows that there are many diseases leading to impotence.
According to B. Kaplan and B. Sadok, in the United States, 2,000,000 people suffer from impotence due to diabetes mellitus; in 300,000 people, impotence is caused by other diseases of the endocrine system. 1 500 000 people suffer from impotence due to diseases of the cardiovascular system, 180 000 – due to multiple sclerosis, 400 000 – due to injuries and fractures that caused damage to the pelvic organs and spinal cord, and another 650 000 people – as a result of various types surgery on the pelvic organs.
Impotence can be caused by organic diseases of the genital organs or a severe illness, as well as pain during intercourse (this is called dyspareunia).
Some men with impotence become real family tyrants. As if anticipating possible reproaches of the wife for sexual failure, they come up with a non-existent disease or exaggerate the painful manifestations of diseases of the internal organs. They constantly complain of non-existent pains, poor health, and this justifies the fact that they cannot fulfill their “conjugal duties”, require special attention, special diet and care.
Most often this happens in men of a certain personal warehouse. In particular, this can be with hysterical psychopathy or an accentuation of character, and psychiatrists call this behavior “flight to illness”.
This can also be in doubtful men, fixed on their own health, who constantly listen to the activity of internal organs (heart, gastrointestinal tract), count their pulse, measure temperature or blood pressure.
Excessive care for their own health is called hypochondria, and psychiatrists call such people hypochondriacs (but this is not a term, but the professional jargon of psychiatrists). Many hypochondriacs are convinced that they are ill with some serious, even incurable disease, and the “illiterate” doctors allegedly cannot find this disease in him. Moreover, the impochondrick not only tries to impress this on his wife, but he sincerely believes that he is seriously ill. A clinical example is given in the chapter “Male Menopause”.
Some hypochondriacs go to rest after lunch or any exercise. A daytime sleep of at least 2-3 hours is “sacred” for them, and all members of whatever should go on tiptoe so that, God forbid, not disturb him. Having slept in the afternoon, however, the isochondrick complains of insomnia, and in the evening before going to bed he makes a long “promenade”, complaining that he will not be able to sleep otherwise. With the slightest malaise, a rise in temperature even by half a degree or a slight increase in blood pressure, hypochondriacs go to bed, even if urgent matters await him, he calls a doctor and makes many complaints. And of course, considering himself to be “seriously ill”, the hypochondriac cannot fulfill “conjugal duties”, because any workload is very fraught for him – he inspires his wife and he is sure of it.
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