Sex-Therapeutic Treatment Strategy for Absolute Anorgasmia
It includes several successive stages: 1) achieving orgasm during masturbation; 2) orgasm in the presence of a partner through clitoral stimulation; 3) orgasm during intercourse; 4) reception “bridge”.
The basic principle of achieving orgasm is to increase sexual arousal while weakening its suppression. An effective way to ease suppression is masturbation, which a woman spends alone. However, she is not under pressure from a partner. When necessary, a woman should be helped to overcome feelings of guilt and shame about masturbation.
Women who have never had an orgasm, often fear possible feelings and their own reactions. They are offered to talk about their fantasies associated with an orgasm: “What can happen?”, And then conduct their analysis and discussion. The most typical fears are: “I will lose control of myself,” “I will lose my mind,” “It will harm me …”, “I will like it and I will become illegible.” Most of these fears are associated with the suppression and prohibition of sexuality. It is necessary to debunk them. Sometimes a woman feels guilty and experiences mixed feelings about pleasure and the possible achievement of an orgasm, which for her seems to be the limit of her success (there is a “conflict of success). In these cases, she must be assured that reaching an orgasm will not immediately resolve all her problems. Only after that is she recommended to experience her first orgasm through masturbation. Since erotic fantasies promote excitement and at the same time distract from disturbing thoughts, the patient should be actively encouraged to experience fantasies during masturbation. Sometimes a woman is recommended to purchase video products in order to check which pictures, methods, situations contribute to her excitement. Stimulation of the clitoris with your finger in combination with erotic fantasies rather quickly (usually within a few weeks) leads to orgasm. If the effect of this form of stimulation is weak, it is proposed to use a vibrator. Household electric massager is more powerful and effective than phallic-shaped devices with batteries. The patient is recommended to conduct a vibrator around and near the clitoris, focusing on erotic fantasies.
This is necessary to “distract oneself from what usually distracts from orgasm,” that is, to distract from the habit of self-control during stimulation and orgasm. In some cases, viewing during the stimulation of erotic pictures or erotic films helps.
Some women have to stimulate themselves for a long time, sometimes around one hour, to achieve an orgasm. For them, the therapist’s encouragement and support is especially important. There are several techniques to facilitate the onset of orgasm in women: alternate compression and relaxation of the muscles of the vagina; vigorous movement of the pelvis and deep breathing against the backdrop of strong excitement. If intense stimulation causes severe stress, it is recommended to suspend it for a few seconds and then resume again. A few repetitions of this table-start technique are often effective. All these somewhat mechanical techniques facilitate the onset of orgasm, distracting the woman from the usual ways to suppress it. A very useful “distracting” factor is erotic fantasies.
Orgasm in the presence of a partner. After the woman has mastered the sensations of orgasm during masturbation alone, she must achieve it in the presence of her husband. This is not easy, because the presence of a partner provokes anxiety. There is a fear of failure: “Will I be able to reach orgasm? And if he gets tired of the picture of monotonous stimulation? And if other women do it faster? ”. In achieving the goals of this stage, options are possible. One of them is that the couple is asked to do everything as usual. After a man ejaculates himself, he manually causes her partner to orgasm. She gets the installation to experience the same fantasies that previously used for masturbation. A woman conducts muscle contractions, breathes deeply, plunging into her favorite fantasies, and the man excites her. Often in this way a woman reaches orgasm. If a woman is too far behind in terms of arousal rate from a man or hesitates to ask a man to stimulate the clitoris, she is recommended to masturbate herself in the presence of a partner. Some couples are sufficiently free from prejudice to accept such a proposal by a therapist. But often women experience a sense of confusion and shame at the thought of masturbation in the presence of her husband. But more often husbands normally respond to this proposal. Moreover, the kind of masturbating wife excites most men.