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Sex-therapeutic relative incomplete anorgasmia

The inability to experience orgasm during coitus is the most common complaint of women. This is understandable, since from the anatomical point of view, coitus is not the most successful way to excite the region of the clitoris.

Psychologically, sexual intercourse should be regarded as extremely exciting and emotionally attractive. However, coital stimulation of the clitoris is less strong than the direct effect on it, for example, during masturbation. Therefore, women with a relatively low orgasmic reflex threshold can reach orgasm exclusively during coitus (according to some data, about half of them in the USA). Others physiologically require more intense, compared with the possibilities of coitus, stimulation of the clitoris. Another part of women has psychogenic orgasm disorders. High threshold characteristics of reaching orgasm can be caused by psychological prohibitions and repressed sexuality, or be constitutional and genetic in nature.

In sex therapy of relative anorgasmia, sensory focusing techniques I, II and non-binding coitus are used. However, the fundamental point of solving this problem is the ability to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. To do this, X. Kaplan offered a special method of “bridge”, which is shown to women experiencing an orgasm during clitoral stimulation, but not reaching it during intercourse. Most women with relative anorgasmia experience orgasm if clitoral stimulation does not stop while the penis is in the vagina. Women feel great pleasure from such a reception, since the sensation of orgasm acquires special clarity if the erect member remains in the vagina at that time. But the constant use of this technique can be tedious for her husband. Such activity also rarely leads to a truly coital orgasm. The essence of the “bridge” is to continue to stimulate the clitoris until the moment before the orgasm, after which it must be “started” by friction movements. Here we are talking about the moment that precedes an orgasm, and not about that which becomes the “starting point” of the orgasm itself. Thus, between the stimulation of the clitoris and the actual coitus, a kind of connecting bridge is formed.

Stimulation of the clitoris can be carried out by both the man and the woman herself, depending on the situation. Usually during the initial attempts at making a “bridge”, a woman is offered to do the clitoral stimulation herself. Her self-stimulation does not bore a man and does not distract him, while a woman has more opportunities to control the stimulation and awareness of the pleasure she receives, she does not have to worry about whether her partner is tired or his arm is tired. The main condition in the choice of positions occupied by partners in the performance of the “bridge” reception is free hand access to the clitoris area.

“Bridge” is used only after the woman has already experienced intense vaginal sensations from previous exercises. There are two types (according to the nature of the source) of erotic sensations emanating from the vagina: tactile and proprioceptive. Two thirds of the surface of the vaginal walls do not contain tactile fibers: they are mostly insensitive. However, the vaginal entrance area and 1/3 of its surface are particularly sensitive to tactile stimulation, which can lead a sexually sensitive woman to experiencing orgasm.

Sensations of muscle contraction of the vaginal area form another component of erotic sensitivity. Prolonged non-binding coitus in combination with exercises of the pubic-smoked muscles are especially useful for a clearer perception of vaginal sensations by women who have had these sensations in the past.

Occasionally, these “heightened” sensations caused by previous workouts lead to a spontaneous experience of a coital orgasm. But, as a rule, they are not enough, and then the “bridge” is recommended. After pre-caresses, the couple are offered to begin sexual intercourse in a pose that is convenient for the “bridge” (better a woman from above). It is recommended to make unhurried frictions so that a woman can concentrate on her feelings, and then begin to excite the clitoris with a finger, as she usually does alone with herself. (The installation can be changed to excite a man or use a vibrator, which is a very effective means of achieving an orgasm during coitus. The disadvantage of using it is the reluctance of some couples to use this mechanical device during intercourse.)

A woman should focus her attention on exciting fantasies. As soon as she feels the approach of orgasm, you should immediately stop the stimulation and sharply move over the partner. Such an interruption may temporarily slow down the approach of orgasm. This is normal. You need to repeat everything again. And as soon as the woman feels the approach of an orgasm, the stimulation stops and she should again quickly and sharply move over the partner. So repeat several times, until it comes to an orgasm. If a man ejaculates earlier, the couple can repeat the “bridge” the next time.

Reactions to the “bridge”. The usual reaction of a married couple to the successful implementation of the “bridge” is relaxation and inspiration. After all, quite often women with coital anorgasmia feel their inferiority and inferiority compared with those individuals who reach orgasm during intercourse. This is largely due to the fact that men are often prone to emotionally exacerbated anorgasia of their wives. Thus, unsure of men connects the absence of orgasm during coitus with their own inept actions or the “shortcomings” of their penis. For this reason, the phenomenon of imitation of orgasm during sexual intercourse is so common. Some women find it easier to do without orgasm and simulate it than to openly recognize the clitoral source of its occurrence.
Reception “bridge” is effective in no more than half of women. The rest get a good way to achieve orgasm with the penis inserted into the vagina, which gives pleasure to both partners. These women retain the need for immediate stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse before orgasm.

Often, the installation of a woman in relation to a coital orgasm is so emotionally charged that a deeper study is necessary. The experience of orgasm leads to sensual sensations, regardless of the type of orgasm or its source. In an ideal situation, couples do not consider extra-orbital orgasm as “less complete.” Loving couples, where both partners have a sense of psychological security, come to a harmonious and full-fledged sex life, and in the case when a woman requires preliminary stimulation of the clitoris to achieve orgasm.

In the process of sex therapy, a woman learns to take into account her sexual needs and takes responsibility for her own sexual satisfaction. This means that if earlier in sexual intercourse a woman acted more responsive to the erotic requests and whims of her husband, now she is in a position from above, moving along the phallus in accordance with her own vaginal sensations. The transition of a woman from a passive to an active state can cause various reactions in her partner. Loving and confident men feel joy for their partner and enjoy her increased sexual activity. Others express fear and displeasure, since these changes in the behavior of the wife may be associated with the fear of losing control and even with the fear of causing physical harm to the actions of the spouse. Some men are aware of their fears and openly share their fears. Others do not show visible signs of anxiety, but suddenly lose their potency and interest in sex. In general, if a man does not worry about his own sexual abilities, he reacts positively to the changes that are taking place. It is also very important to convince partners that in order to successfully resolve a woman’s sexual difficulties, mutual recognition of her erotic needs and desires is necessary. The inability of the husband to recognize the sexual “anatomy” of his spouse can become an obstacle to the full sexual activity of a woman.

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