To put it in the dictionary, adultery is “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person other than his or her spouse.” From this point of view, sex with a doll is not cheating.
But life does not pass according to the dictionary. After all, betrayal also happens outside of marriage, for example, in relationships that are just beginning.
Cheating is not always sex. Correspondence on social networks, flirting, kissing also become a reason for jealousy, scandals and recriminations.
In the broadest sense, cheating is a violation of agreements between partners, an inconsistent transfer of emotions, attention, energy from a relationship to somewhere else. Mutual grievances, accusations, misunderstandings, when a couple does not clearly articulate the criteria for betrayal among themselves are a frequent reason for contacting an appointment. For instance:
“I just complimented a beautiful girl in a common company, and she was offended”
“She can spend the whole weekend with her parents without warning, I don’t understand that.”
To disappear for months at work or in the company of friends is also a kind of betrayal, a violation of the contract for exclusive communication between partners: “you give me little time”, “I hardly see you.”
Cheating is a violation of agreements between partners, an inconsistent transfer of emotions, attention, energy from a relationship to somewhere else.
If there are verbal agreements, then the criteria for treason are also clear. In a so-called free relationship, partners can have sexual relations with someone else without cheating, but at the same time they agree not to hide anything and periodically share feelings and thoughts with each other.
What is the contract between you and your partner? What violates it is treason.
Any agreement (or lack thereof) implies responsibility, that is, a willingness to face the consequences of one’s actions. “Does what you do enhance the energy exchange between you and your partner? Does it make you happier? ” – these are the questions I always ask couples in my sessions. This helps to build the boundaries of a harmonious relationship and make any betrayal unnecessary.
It is safer with a doll – it is obedient, you can do almost anything with it, the doll does not feel pain, pleasure, fear, love, it does not feel anything. A person is given complete freedom of action, no one will condemn, reject, push away, call him a bad lover. But no one will answer him with a movement, a smile, or a breath.
The doll is under control – she will not say “no”, you can be what you are afraid to be in real life. Nobody sees you. This can be good for those who have sexual fears and want to try. But there is no responsibility for their actions, there is no feedback.
With a doll it is easier to realize your fantasies. But it is important to ask yourself the question: what life prospects do you have with the doll? Maybe it’s worth taking a chance, opening up, talking to a real person? To find yourself in an awkward situation now (and that is not a fact), but to win strategically.
Everyone wants to be loved and loved. The doll will never give it.
The doll is lifeless. This is convenient, but not realistic. But this creates a great risk of leaving your true feelings and gaining experience that will not help solve the problem, but, on the contrary, will create a new one.
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