Male sexuality is also characterized by extensiveness and less emotional involvement in psychological intimacy. The desire to realize the impersonal, non-specific sexual partner sexual needs, pushes many men to casual relationships, which increase the likelihood of all sorts of “misfires”, and hence the accusations of male weakness. After all, if the partners do not bind anything but carnal desire, then the impossibility of its realization is a good excuse to thwart the evil on the partner, put it in the most unfavorable light, thereby arousing his doubts about sexual viability. Let us briefly discuss the most characteristic features of female sexuality.
Female sexuality is associated with the menstrual cycle. Sexual reactivity of women is different at different stages of the cycle. For example, the greatest interest in erotic films appears in young women immediately after the end of menstruation, and in the first seven days of the second half of the cycle, interest in erotica decreases. Also observed are cyclical fluctuations in libido and the ability to experience orgasmic experiences. Approximately half of women have premenstrual syndrome, which is manifested by irritability, emotional and vegetative lability.
Female sexuality is more psychological, resulting in significant individual differences in the sexual behavior of women and sexual experiences. To experience an orgasm and the satisfaction of being close to a woman is often hampered by fears that she cannot rely on a loved one or the fear of losing it. The director of the Kinsey Institute, John Bancroft (2003), relying on a survey of 987 American women from 20 to 65 years old, argues that female sexuality is qualitatively different from male sexuality.
Sexual unsatisfaction of women depends not so much on physical (bodily) reactions, such as excitement, lambing, orgasm, but on psychological factors, including a sense of overall emotional well-being and good relationships with a partner. Some of the phenomena that men, and even doctors after them, perceive as painful disorders requiring treatment, for women are more likely problems that they live with and which are solved not by pharmacological, but psychological means (Bancroft et al., 2003). Recently, Pfizer, the creator of the legendary Viagra, finally abandoned further development of female Viagra due to the high dependence of female sexuality on psychosocial factors and the futility of pharmacotherapy. Nevertheless, in Moscow recently, a number of firms began to advertise miraculous injections for women suffering from anorgasmia. Intravaginal administration of the drug to the Graffenberg stain causes edema – swelling of the latter, which allegedly dramatically increases the orgasm of the woman.
The following moments are connected with the psychological nature of sexuality of a woman.
The leading role in the formation of sexual behavior of a woman is played not by sexual libido, that is, the desire for sexual intercourse, but erotic, which is closely connected with the assessment of the personal qualities of a partner. Therefore, female sexuality is more selective than male sexuality.
Sexual satisfaction in women is less closely related to orgasm than men. With good relations and deep mutual affection of spouses, a woman may well be content with “satisfaction without an orgasm” for many years. Even with enough sexual experience and an awakened orgasm in most women, part of the sexual acts ends without orgasm. If there is no physical discomfort and signs of emotional dissatisfaction, such cases do not have a pathological basis.
However, one of the negative consequences of the violent sexual revolutions of the 60-80s of the last century was the transformation of a female orgasm from pleasure into a tedious duty, an absolute goal, which is obsessed with numerous representatives of both sexes. And for a considerable number of men – this is just a way to feel like an excellent sexual partner, who is always able to satisfy a woman. The fair sex is also often seeking to achieve an orgasm for reasons of prestige, since it enables a woman to show her “sexual usefulness” to a partner and be convinced of herself. Sometimes, the basis of the “orgasmocentric” attitude is a woman’s fear that a man would stop loving her and go to another (especially if there is a real or imaginary rival). One way or another, such attitudes give rise to alarming fears of the bad effects of not having an orgasm on many women and a desire to make every effort to get this “coveted prize”.
When counseling women with sexual problems should be remembered about some of the features of female sexuality. Most sexual dysfunctions do not interfere with the intimacy of a woman, although they interfere with getting satisfaction from her. In the development of female sexuality there is a tendency to get stuck in the erotic phase. Moreover, in a number of women, the awakening of the sexual component of libido and the ability to experience orgasm does not occur at all, or the ability to achieve orgasm occurs only after a certain period of regular sex life. If men’s erogenous zones are mainly localized in the genital area, then extragenital zones play a large role in women, and sometimes dominate over genital ones in the process of arousal growth.
Unlike men, who have a refractory period after sexual intercourse (necessary for the accumulation of mature sperm in the ejaculate), women do not have a period of non-excitability, which potentially provides multi-orgasm (this possibility is realized in 14 – 30% of women).
For a better understanding of the psychological aspects that distinguish male and female sexuality, let us briefly discuss the theory of sexual strategies of the American psychologist D. Bass (1994, 1998). From the point of view of evolutionary psychology, all the psychological mechanisms of human sexuality arose by natural selection in the process of evolution. These psychological mechanisms ensure the individual’s sexual adaptation to changing environmental conditions. In the process of evolution, men and women faced various adaptive problems, so they formed different sexual strategies.
Men and women have developed a strategic repertoire that includes both short-term (search for a temporary sexual partner) and long-term (search for a permanent partner) strategies. When solving short-term and long-term problems, they have various adaptive problems. Since males devote more effort to mating than females, which is associated with significant differences in the size of the minimum parental contribution of both sexes. Therefore, male short-term sexual strategy involves solving four adaptive problems: 1) determining the number of sexual partners; 2) the definition of sexually accessible women; 3) the definition of fertile women; 4) minimizing the effort required to achieve the goal (sexual contact) and parental contribution.
Despite the fact that women benefit much less from short-term mating, they can get a number of adaptive benefits from it: 1) material resources for themselves and their children; 2) safety net in case of loss of a permanent partner; 3) the genetic benefits of mating with a stronger man.
The strategy of long-term mating sets other tasks for men: 1) definition of reproductively valuable women; 2) providing a high probability of becoming a father; 3) identifying women with good parenting skills.
Women who choose a long-term sexual strategy solve the following tasks: 1) to identify men capable of extracting resources; 2) identify men who are willing to invest these resources in them and their children; 3) identify men who want to enter into long-term relationships; 4) identify men willing to protect them and their children from external aggression; 5) identify men with good parenting skills.
Depending on the context, men and women use specific sexual strategies or a combination of them.
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