Behavioral (technical) disharmony

Their essence lies in the absence of optimal forms of sexual intercourse for a couple, which would enable partners to receive mutual satisfaction from sexual contacts. In other words – the sexual behavior of spouses does not justify mutual expectations. There are at the very beginning of intimate life, when changing the sexual partner, but it is possible in other cases, if it is not customary for a couple to discuss individual sexual preferences. Women “suffer” more often due to the numerous nuances of location, reactivity (sensitivity) and the “on” sequence of erogenous zones that constitute a kind of individual “code” of arousal, which her sexual partner should take into account. For example, men often confuse a sequence of caresses, resorting immediately to deep caress of the second order (stimulation of the clitoris, etc.), bypassing the superficial caress of the first order, with the result that a woman’s arousal is inhibited or is unpleasant, contradictory.

It is not uncommon for men to not even know the individual characteristics of the location of their partner’s erogenous zones, which leads to their inadequate stimulation, which is not at all conducive to an increase in arousal during preliminary caresses and coitus itself. Sometimes the actions of one of the partners, aimed at enhancing the sexual experiences of the other partner, are unacceptable for him, cause negative emotions and a decline in sexual arousal. During sexual intercourse, technical disharmony manifests itself in the fact that partners use positions where it is almost impossible to achieve an orgasm in a woman. For example, in a woman with a clitoral type of orgasm in a position with high legs, the clitoris is shifted up and back, which prevents the occurrence of an orgasm. Another problem is the discrepancy between the strength, pace, direction and depth of frictions of a woman’s expectations; too frequent changes in the type of frictions or their uniform character throughout the entire coitus. A mistake is the absence of reciprocal frictions, i.e., the complete passivity and detachment of a woman during sexual intercourse.

Sexual disharmony often leads to “stereotyping and monotonization of sexual life,” which is formed in a significant number of males over the age of 30 – 35 years. Sexually healthy men begin relatively rarely to have sex, motivating it with employment and constant fatigue. If closeness occurs, they almost do not use foreplay or reduce them to monotonous impacts. The sexual intercourse itself usually takes place monotonously, in the same position – according to a pattern. No concern for the sensual satisfaction of women is not manifested. Such a formal performance of “marital duties” has nothing to do with harmonious intimate relationships.

Physiological disharmony

These include undercounting of constitutional differences of partners. In a sense, sexual harmony in a pair is an opportunity to adequately realize the sexual temperament inherent in each of the partners. Ideally, the sex drive, the physiological possibilities, and the intensity of the subject’s sexual life should be approximately the same. However, in real life in many couples there are differences and even conflicts over the frequency of sexual intercourse. A number of experts believe that coitus should be carried out only with mutual desire, and the frequency of sexual acts should be determined by a partner with a lower level of sexual desire. However, this situation may cause a partner with a higher level of desire to overstrain and severe discomfort due to the need to often suppress sexual desire. Sexual dissatisfaction, often transformed into aggressive feelings towards a partner. An unequivocal solution to this problem does not exist. In some cases, a more temperamental partner resorts to masturbation; in others – “trains restraint and willpower”, switching as much as possible to non-sexual activity (physical education, work in the country, etc.); thirdly – not resisting the temptation, looking for love joys “on the side”. At the same time, the most adequate and painless way to resolve this problem is the active use of petting partners, which, of course, requires a certain level of relationships in the pair. When a woman has a strong desire, she can try to arouse her partner, and if she still turns out to be not ready for sexual intercourse, she can quite satisfy her partner by stimulating the clitoris with her hand or tongue. In cases where a man is eager for intimacy, and a woman is completely in tune with her, she can simply allow herself to give pleasure to her partner, caressing the penis with her hand or resorting to oral-genital stimulation.

Another common variant of physiological disharmony is the discrepancy between the duration of sexual intercourse that a man is able to provide for the needs of a woman. If a man ejaculates again and again before the woman manages to learn the floor of an orgasm (provided that the woman is capable of achieving it), this requires appropriate therapy (with a duration of coitus not exceeding 1 to 2 minutes) or behavior modification during intimacy. Men are advised to increase the duration of preliminary caresses, including direct stimulation of the clitoris and in the vagina; periodically interrupt frictions with simultaneous irritation of the clitoris with the hand; if sexual intercourse still did not lead to an orgasm in a woman – help to achieve it during the final caress. Additionally, they can use techniques that are known from ancient tantric texts. For example, to reduce the high level of sexual arousal, a man is recommended to make several contractions of the muscles of the perineum and anal sphincter, in which the anus is drawn in. They are best combined with the simultaneous performance of several rotational movements with the eyeballs or when a man approaches ejaculation – energetic pressure of a woman’s finger on a “particular point of Tibetan monks” located in the center of the perineum in the middle between the scrotum and anus.

Dysgamy due to the relative disparity between the sizes of the male and female genitalia is quite rare. Most often, a woman’s complaints about the size of her penis being too large are due to her lack of sufficient arousal at the beginning of coitus. In this case, adequate moisture and an increase in the size of the vagina do not occur, therefore, when introitus and frictions can occur discomfort. In some cases, when the length of the penis of a man in an erect state significantly deviates from the average (13 – 16 centimeters), reaching 20 centimeters or more, or, conversely, less than 10 centimeters, the depth of penetration into the vagina can be adjusted by selecting the appropriate positions for intercourse. The apparent discrepancy of the genital organs is most often observed in the pathological conditions of the vagina (underdevelopment, fusion, scarring, postpartum disorders of the vulvar muscular ring, etc.). In most cases, the functionality of the vagina is great and with the proper position of coitus, appropriate training and caution, the partners are able to achieve mutual satisfaction. The basis of disharmony may lie differences in the individual biological rhythms of the spouses. People related to “larks” have a maximum of vital activity,

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