If a man has normal sexual excitability, and usually an erection occurs quickly, even if an erection has disappeared during the preparatory period, there is nothing to worry about. This can be regarded as a completely normal phenomenon.

The prelude should last at least 15-20 minutes, and if this woman is not enough to get well aroused, then even 30-50 minutes. For a woman, this is quite normal.

But for a man to maintain an erection throughout this period is really very difficult, and not at all necessary.

At this stage, the man does not need an erection at all, he will need it only at the very end of the prelude, when the time comes to switch from erotic caresses to sexual intercourse.

Therefore, if an erection in a man has disappeared, then you just don’t need to pay attention to it, it will not be difficult to restore it when needed, if the man has normal excitability.

In a prelude, a strong erection can even interfere, since the more a man is aroused, the more he wants to get sexual discharge as soon as possible. As you know, in a state of strong sexual arousal in a man, his ability to control his sexual behavior is reduced, and a partner who is embraced by strong gadding can “crumple”, reduce the foreplay, so that he can start sexual intercourse as soon as possible.

For 30-50 minutes in a state of severe excitement with an erect penis, and even more so to caress a partner, a normal man simply can not.

Therefore, the loss of erection in the prelude is quite normal, to a certain extent, even a protective reaction of the body, protecting it from overexcitation.

But if at the beginning of a sexual encounter a man had a good erection, then it can then recover. Indeed, the arousal is not realized, the center of erection and ejaculation in the spinal cord is “in full readiness”, that is, in an excited state, there are no negative effects that inhibit the arousal. Therefore, an erection may reappear. Perhaps this will require additional stimulation from the partner, but this is not a problem if the partner has a harmonious relationship.

But for a woman to achieve normal sexual arousal, and therefore for the final result – an orgasm – a long prelude is essential. A good foreplay is the key to her future sexual satisfaction.

Without a prelude, most women are not able to get well aroused, which means they will not be able to survive an orgasm, since all phases of the sexual reaction cycle are interconnected and follow one from the other: sexual attraction – excitement – orgasm – refractory pause. If the previous phase drops out, then there will be no subsequent. That is, without attraction there is no arousal, and without arousal there is no orgasm.

But if in a man with normal excitability all these phases are very short and the excitement grows spontaneously, within a few minutes, then a woman needs much more time.

The first phase – sexual attraction – in a man occurs even before sexual rapprochement. The man wanted intimacy and all the other phases went on like an avalanche: if an attraction arose, then immediately followed by an arousal (that is, an erection of the penis), and if there is an erection, then he is ready for sexual intercourse and is already able after 2- 3 minutes from the onset of penile friction in the vagina to survive an orgasm. That is, from the moment of attraction to orgasm, if there are no obstacles, if the partner is not opposed, a man can only take a few minutes. A man “lights up like a match” and “goes out” just as quickly. The entire sexual cycle: desire – erection – orgasm – refractory pause – takes a man a very short time.

Now let’s see how normal happens in women. Before a sexual rapprochement, a woman may not have a sexual drive. Some women are attracted, while others do not. Temperamental women may want intimacy even before an erotic effect, but in most women a desire for intimacy arises only after a man begins to caress erogenous zones.

That is, a man, starting to caress a woman, has already passed at least the first phase of the cycle of sexual reaction (attraction), and most often, he is already in the second phase (arousal), and he already has an erection. And the woman “does not have time” for him – the partner is already in the second phase, and she has not yet entered even the first, that is, she does not yet have even an attraction.

If the partner ignores the prelude, then the woman will never “catch up” with him in phase – after the start of sexual intercourse and vaginal frictions, the man’s excitement increases so quickly that it will take him only 2-3 minutes to orgasm. That is, the man is already entering the third phase (orgasm), and the woman is still in the first phase or has not even reached it. And when a man has already had an ejaculation, then they are even more so under unequal conditions. The man’s desire disappeared, and the woman remained unsatisfied.

Now you understand what the prelude is for, dear men? Only during the prelude can partners “get even in phase” – an excited man with the help of erotic caresses allows a woman to enter first in the first phase (attraction) and then in the second (excitement). Moreover, the excitement in a woman does not increase like in a man, but much more slowly. And only after the woman’s excitement became strong enough, only then can it be considered that the partners “caught up in phase”, and both are in the second phase. And only after that a man can start sexual intercourse. That is, the need for foreplay is not a whim, but has a purely physiological justification. There will be no prelude, therefore, there will be no orgasm. “Jump” through the phases of a normal sexual reaction, having missed at least one of them, is impossible.

The length of the period that a woman needs to achieve the desired degree of sexual arousal (that is, the length of the foreplay) depends on her sexual constitution and temperament. In the chapter on the sexual constitution, you will read that in both women and men, the sexual constitution is strong, medium, and weak. About a quarter of all women have a strong sexual constitution, the rest – medium and weak. But even a weak sexual constitution is not a pathology, but one of the variants of the norm.