Many sex therapists note that almost all men over 40 experience fear of impotence. However, age affects male potency in different ways; for a normal erection, having a permanent sexual partner and regular sexual life is much more important.

The second problem that bothers the man is the thought that he can do nothing about it. And this is also probably familiar to many men.

Complete lack of erection is rare. Most often, a man has an incomplete (partial) erection, too weak for the introduction of the penis into the vagina and sexual intercourse. There are cases when a man’s erection is normal before intercourse, but after a few frictions, the erection quickly disappears.

In some cases, an erection is insufficient only with sexual intercourse with a constant partner or with a woman who causes hostility, and when a partner changes, sexual arousal can be normal.

This situational version of the sexual arousal disorder can also be observed in men living a normal sexual life.

Situational disorder of sexual arousal is characteristic of people with sexual perversions (perversions).

For example, an erection disorder occurs when trying to have sex with a woman in men with homosexual tendencies. Men who marry in order to hide their homosexual tendencies or who are bisexual have insufficient sexual arousal during sexual intercourse with their wife and may even be unsound if they are not helped by fantasies about homosexual topics. And with your homosexual partner, sexual arousal and erection may be sufficient.

Situational disorder of sexual arousal is observed with other sexual perversions – exhibitionism, pedophilia, masochism, sadism, group sex and others. With sexual perversions, sexual arousal is intense only with the preferred perverse partner, and with ordinary sexual partners it is not enough, therefore, perversions are given a clear preference.

There is also a selective (selective) impotence – in some circumstances, a man has a normal erection, while in others it is reduced or absent. For example, a man can have sexual intercourse with a prostitute, but not with his wife. Some men, cheating on their wives, do not experience problems with an erection, and with their wife they do not succeed. And for others, on the contrary, a man does not have any difficulties with his wife during sexual intercourse, but when trying to illegitimate sex, he experiences a complete fiasco.

Some men have a normal erection during masturbation, but with sexual intercourse with a woman, an erection is weak or absent.

For the occurrence of sexual arousal in a man, a certain minimum of erotic irritations on the part of the woman is necessary. If they are absent, for example, with a completely unattractive appearance of a woman, with a sharply negative attitude towards her, then sexual arousal will not occur.

An erection in a man may be weak due to the fact that the lover or wife does not provide sufficient stimulation before intercourse. Many women have a completely misconception that problems with an erection are problems of the man himself. They believe that a man should be “always ready” for sexual intercourse, as soon as his wife wants it.

And like women, a man can have his own personal problems and concerns that have nothing to do with sex, but nevertheless, which are important for him. It can be problems at work, and financial difficulties, and poor health, and many other problems.

When a person has some kind of negative dominant, it suppresses sexual arousal. And it may well be that at the moment the man is busy with his gloomy thoughts, and he does not want to have sex at all. But if the partner insists, he can give in to her, since no man wants to drop himself in the eyes of any woman in matters of sex and give an occasion to accuse him of sexual weakness or lack of sexual activity.

But even yielding, the man is psychologically not yet ready for sexual contact and can not abandon his worldly problems. And even more so, if a woman does nothing to help her cope with these problems with her sympathy or participation, or to have intense sexual arousal and a good erection.

In these cases, sooner or later, in any man, it can happen that an erection is insufficient for sexual intercourse. This scares many people, and further the fear of the repetition of failure can be fixed, and even if in most cases it is normal with potency, but there is a constant fear of possible failure.

If a person during sexual intercourse is fully concentrated on his sensations, then sexual arousal occurs faster, and it is more intense. And if a man, during sexual intercourse, thinks of something outsider, he cannot give up his problems, if something interferes from the outside, then sexual arousal will be weaker.

If something prevents you from switching to the “erotic wave” and concentrating fully on your feelings, try to eliminate this if possible. You should not engage in sexual contacts if you actively do not want this, if at the moment you are concerned about something, this can have negative consequences.

There are cases when a man developed impotence due to the fact that “at the most inopportune moment” someone entered the room. Such difficulties occur in many families living in cramped housing conditions – in the same room with children or parents, in an adjacent room. When a man listens intently to any rustle, being afraid to wake someone, sexual arousal does not reach the required intensity, and this affects the erection.

The reason for the lack of sexual arousal in a man, and therefore a weak erection, may be the inexperience of the sexual partner and her ignorance of the methods of effective stimulation during sexual intercourse or the hypocritical attitude to what is possible and what is impossible, what is “embarrassing” and what is allowed during sexual intercourse, and as a result, the lack of the necessary sexual stimulation (erotic caresses) or the mismatch of the partner’s caresses to the real desires of the man, her ignorance of the partner’s erogenous zones, as well as insufficient intensity Nosta and duration of erotic caresses.

Each man has individual erogenous zones. With a narrow range of acceptability and false ideas about what is permissible and what is “embarrassing,” the man is “embarrassed” to tell his partner about his erogenous zones, about how and for how long it is necessary to caress him to achieve a normal degree of sexual arousal, what poses and the technique of sexual intercourse suits him the most.

A partner may believe that her affection is quite enough to arouse a man, although in reality the partner would like otherwise. Or the partner is also “embarrassed” and does not ask what kind of affection the partner would like.

Many people, because of false bashfulness, generally avoid talking about sex. Some believe that words are superfluous, this simplifies the relationship, depriving them of psychological intimacy or romance.

However, one can speak differently on the same topic. If you discuss all the details of sexual intercourse in a businesslike manner, then you can truly deprive sex of its sensual or romantic component. But you can say about your real desires at the right time in such words and in such a voice that it will further excite the partner. And you can do without words at all, showing what kind of stimulation it should provide.