The most important thing that every man should know, regardless of what kind of potency he has, is that an erectile dysfunction is completely overcome if it has psychological reasons. Further in this chapter, tips are given that will quite successfully help a man to overcome it on his own if there are no organic diseases requiring treatment by a sex therapist, and if he has not yet developed a sexual neurosis.
And yet, what is important for every man to know – even a completely non-erect or weakly erect penis can be inserted into a woman’s vagina. This is called soft typing. It is described further.
The man has no reason to fear that someday he will be untenable. Even if problems with an erection become a frequent occurrence – in many cases this is quite successfully overcome.
In general, we can say that the attitude to male potency is overvalued, that is, many people, both men and women, are overly concerned with it, overestimate its value.
As it turns out during the interviews, it is the psychological side of this problem, the fear of dropping oneself in the eyes of a partner and being compromised, their own reputation and the ability to feel like a full-fledged man and sexual partner – most of all excite many men, and not the loss of their ability to experience an orgasm.
But even if a man completely loses the ability to experience an orgasm, and this is also not fatal, many women who have never experienced an orgasm live, there are many men who have never experienced an orgasm.
It does not follow from what has been said that this is a normal phenomenon. But this problem should not be given excessive importance. Even the loss of an arm or leg, a serious illness of internal organs, many men do not treat as painfully as loss of potency. And completely in vain.
Firstly, even with a permanent loss of potency due to organic reasons, one can live with it if one does not make a tragedy out of it.
Secondly, most cases of impotence are successfully treated. And in many cases, a man himself can overcome the violation of erection.
All scientific evidence suggests that temporary impotence is a natural and widespread phenomenon. However, most men refuse to believe it. Or they believe in it, but nevertheless, they are embarrassed and ashamed of their weak potency. And completely in vain.
Although the term “impotence” itself is widely used both in everyday life and in scientific literature, from a psychotherapeutic point of view, the use of this term is hardly advisable, since it carries a derogatory meaning and implication of helplessness. The official diagnosis of “impotence” is a serious mental trauma for a man, which can cause him depression and a sense of hopelessness.
One definition of impotence is: “Impotence is the inability to have sexual intercourse due to sexual failure.”
Technically, the term “impotence” implies that a man cannot just enter the penis into the woman’s vagina, perform frictions and have sexual intercourse.
But if the penis of a man is not erected, then the man is by no means helpless. He can satisfy his partner in another way, for example, through cunnilingus or other stimulation of the clitoris. At the same time, he cannot get satisfaction himself, however, this only means that he has no orgasm and ejaculation, that is, his own sexual pleasure. But the lack of personal pleasure is not a synonym for helplessness.
Accordingly, the use of the term “impotence” in a literal translation does not reflect the essence of the problem. There is a synonym for this term – “erection dysfunction”, the use of which is more appropriate.
However, the discussion about the correct use of terms is more likely to be of theoretical value to professionals. Here it is used only for a practical purpose – to convince the reader that in reality neither sexual impotence nor sexual insolvency is at stake, but there is only the impossibility of having sexual intercourse while maintaining the ability to satisfy the partner in other ways.
Oral sex (in this case, cunnilingus) is now considered the same equivalent, and in some cases, a much more preferred way of satisfying a woman. In other countries, it has long been regularly practiced by many couples, and statistics show that such marriages are the most durable. And among couples not bound by marital ties, oral sex is used even more often.
Currently, most famous Western sex therapists believe that vaginal orgasm does not exist at all, and the orgasm is directly related to the clitoris, but only the degree of its stimulation and its duration are different for different women.
For a woman with oral sex it makes no difference whether her partner has an erection or not. The main thing is that she experiences pleasure. Men with weak erections, but sexual altruists are even more preferred as sexual partners for some women, since such men are not dependent on their own ejaculation and orgasm.
A partner with a normal erection who has sexual intercourse, after his own orgasm, loses the ability to excitability of the erogenous zones, and very few men are able to caress a woman in a refractory pause so that she experiences an orgasm. And a man, a sexual altruist, even with a weak erection, can give a woman the opportunity to experience a series of orgasms, since the man himself does not depend on ejaculation or on the refractory period.
In addition, a decrease or even lack of an erection in a partner does not mean that he cannot achieve sexual discharge and sexual satisfaction at all. He cannot receive it only in one of the options – during sexual intercourse. And in all other cases it can, if there are no organic diseases of the genital area.
Only with primary, congenital impotence (that is, when a man has never had a normal erection in his life) is it possible that he is not able to achieve orgasm with any of the existing methods of stimulation.
And there are very few men with primary impotence – only 1%. And even that remains a question whether they are never able to achieve orgasm. As a rule, a complete lack of an erection is such a strong psychological trauma for a man that he is panicky afraid of women, and negative psychological factors come into effect.
Theoretically, it can be assumed that if all men with primary impotence were caressed by experienced sexual partners, then some, if there is no serious pathology, this violation could be overcome. But, unfortunately, this is only theoretically, and in real life it is very difficult for such a man to find a partner who would be so patient, gentle and affectionate that she could somehow change the situation for the better.
And with functional impotence, a man can get sexual discharge with other methods of stimulation.
Firstly, some of the men with weakened erections can achieve orgasm when masturbating or using the achievements of the sex industry, designed to stimulate the penis and satisfaction with the help of various devices.
Secondly, in some men, an erection may occur with manual stimulation (partner’s hand).
Thirdly, many of those who cannot achieve a normal erection for insertion of the penis into the vagina achieve sexual satisfaction with fellatio, that is, oral caresses of the partner’s penis of a man.
And fourthly, a man, even without an erection, still has the opportunity to get psychological satisfaction if his partner enjoys cunnilingus.
That is, summarizing all the above, we can summarize – a man with a weak erection and even with no erection, firstly, is not powerless and not helpless, and he can satisfy his sexual partner, and secondly, he can get satisfaction himself with using one of the above methods.
All sexologists say that if a man has the opportunity to achieve a good erection in any way, then we are not talking about organic impotence, but it is a question of functional impotence. And it’s easier to fight it.
It follows that a man with a weak erection should not regard this as an irreparable tragedy. The value of an erection by modern men is greatly overestimated.
And this is a considerable fault of women. It is a woman who is sometimes overly sensitive to the fact that the partner cannot have sexual intercourse.
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