There are times when a man’s ejaculation does not occur for a long time and a lot of time passes before the man reaches sexual discharge. It can be just an individual feature of his body, it can be caused by low excitability of the reproductive centers or hormonal insufficiency, or it can be due to psychological reasons.
Delayed ejaculation in men (inhibited orgasm, delayed orgasm, delayed ejaculation) – is relatively rare. The prevalence of delayed ejaculation (delayed orgasm) in men is much lower than impotence and premature ejaculation. In general, according to various authors, this variant of sexual dysfunction is observed in 3.8–5% of men who turn to sexopathologists.
Delay or lack of orgasm in a man can be observed after the phase of normal sexual arousal.
With this form of ejaculation disorder, a man usually has a good erection, but ejaculation and orgasm during sexual intercourse are achieved with great difficulty or not at all. With a delay in ejaculation throughout the entire sexual intercourse, an erection may be quite normal or its severity may fluctuate slightly.
Usually, in most healthy men, ejaculation and orgasm are the same. Sexopathologists talk about the delay in ejaculation in cases when ejaculation occurs only after a very long time from the moment of the beginning of sexual intercourse, despite the desire of the man to accelerate it.
Delayed ejaculation should be distinguished from prolonged sexual intercourse, when a man deliberately delays intercourse to give pleasure to a sexual partner.
The disorder may be congenital or acquired. In the latter case, delayed ejaculation may be the result of complex interpersonal relationships with a sexual partner.
The delay of ejaculation is considered primary if the man has never been able and cannot achieve ejaculation during sexual intercourse.
Secondary delayed ejaculation is considered if it occurs after the previous normal sexual functioning.
Delayed ejaculation is considered sexual dysfunction if the partner provides sufficient erotic stimulation (that is, she caresses the erogenous zones correctly and for a long time), and the sexual activity of a man, taking into account his age, is normal.
The inability to achieve orgasm is usually limited by the inability to achieve orgasm in the vagina, while the orgasm with other types of stimulation is preserved, for example, during masturbation, oral sex, stimulation of the penis with the hand of a partner.
The cause of the primary inhibited orgasm in men may be some mental illness.
In some cases, this disorder is associated with improper sex education since childhood – education in harsh Puritan conditions, when sex is regarded as a sin, and everything related to the genitals is dirty, disgusting. When they become adults, such men experience feelings of guilt and shame during sexual intercourse, which has an inhibitory effect on orgasm.
The causes of secondary inhibited orgasm in men are physiological disorders, pelvic surgery, some neurological diseases and injuries of the lumbar and sacral spinal cord, as well as medications, for example, some drugs to lower blood pressure and drugs that inhibit the central nervous system .
A secondary inhibited orgasm in a man can be associated with psychological reasons, for example, with an unsuccessful marriage, difficulties in relations with his wife. This may be the result of deep conflicts related to the identity of the partner. Inability to ejaculate can reflect a latent, subconscious hostility and even hostility towards a sexual partner.
This disorder can be caused by the fear of an unwanted pregnancy of a partner, as well as with her demands for more sexual activity from a man.
The cause may be sexual trauma, which is a specific brake and is associated with real or perceived cheating partner.
Various sexual deviations and perversions, for example, homosexuality, sadism, masochism and others, are also a specific brake. If a man has sexual deviations or perversions, normal sexual intercourse, without using deviant or perverse ways, does not bring him satisfaction. But if he practices deviant or perverse methods of sexual satisfaction, then ejaculation can occur in normal terms.
In homosexuality, if a homosexual man lives in a heterosexual marriage, there may also be a delay in ejaculation during sexual intercourse with his wife. In some cases, ejaculation can be accelerated if he represents the place of the wife of his homosexual partner or another man to whom he is attracted.
Delayed ejaculation can also be associated with insufficient excitement, for example, if the man himself did not want intimacy, but wanted a partner, and he was forced to agree, not being configured for intimacy. It may be that at first he was aroused, and then the excitement for some reason began to decline. In this case, the initial arousal was sufficient, and the man had a normal erection, but then the level of arousal was insufficient to complete sexual intercourse. With the recurrence of such situations, this reaction can be fixed, and the disorder can become persistent.
The cause of the delay in ejaculation may be some external interference that distracts the man and does not allow him to completely concentrate on his sensations, or his psychological discomfort.
Delayed ejaculation can be associated with the stiffness of a man, the inability to completely relax and feel relaxed, “go to the end” or completely surrender to a partner.
An inhibited orgasm may also be due to the fact that a man once had a partner in the past who was very afraid of becoming pregnant, and to prevent pregnancy they practiced interrupted intercourse. During sexual intercourse with this partner, the man was very afraid that ejaculation would occur before he could break frictions and remove the penis from the vagina. Because of this, the man was in constant tension, controlling himself and not allowing excitement to build up, this was fixed and was reflected in his future sexual life.
Ejaculation may be absent with too frequent sexual intercourse.