Sexual disgust and lack of sexual satisfaction
In contrast to disorders of sexual desire, accompanied by a loss of interest or complete indifference to any manifestation of intimate life, this rubric refers to reactions (subjectively neutral or pronounced negative) to direct sexual interaction.
The upcoming sexual relationship with a partner causes strong negative feelings, fear or anxiety, which are sufficient to lead to the evasion of sexual activity.
1) the possibility of sexual interactions with partners causes a clear aversion, fear or anxiety, forcing to avoid sexual activity. If sexual intercourse does occur, it is accompanied by strong negative emotions and an inability to feel satisfaction;
2) aversion and avoidance are not associated with the fear of waiting for sexual failure (as a reaction to previous negative sexual experience).
Sustained or repetitive aversion to sex with the avoidance of all (almost all) sexual intercourse through the genitals is in fact a severe phobia. People who suffer from sexual aversion, there is an irrational fear, the horror associated with sexual activity and even thoughts about it. Fear of sexual intercourse can be expressed in physiological symptoms (heavy sweating, nausea, diarrhea, heartbeat) or psychologically, when a person is simply afraid to enter into a sexual relationship. The patient’s obsessive fear is aggravated by the overwhelming desire to avoid intimate situations that cause him to be very anxious and unpleasant sexual experiences. In some cases, avoidance or aversion to sex is an isolated symptom, in others, coitophobia is one of the manifestations of neurotic disorders. Thus, according to X. Kaplan (1987), anxiety disorders, including atypical panic conditions, occur in approximately 60% of individuals with this form of sexual dysfunction.
Sexual aversion to a partner is one of the most severe sexual dysfunctions. Its prevalence is not precisely known, since only some of the partners suffering from sexual aversion turn to specialists for help. The majority of women, as this disorder grows, begin to avoid intimate relations with their spouse in every possible way, which leads to constant conflicts and, ultimately, to divorce. For both sides, the situation quickly becomes difficult to bear. A person who is disgusted with a partner may negatively perceive all kinds of touches. In other cases, the feeling of disgust is limited only to sexual irritants when trying to intimacy (tactile, olfactory, visual, etc.). With severe aversion, a strong negative reaction occurs not only at the direct contact of the partner, but even at the very thought of such a touch or of the partner himself. From here – separate beds, moving to the mother, etc. More often, sexual aversion gradually increases.
However, it can occur suddenly, for example, as a reaction to the partner’s revealed betrayal. A sharp onset of aversion, as well as its periodic strengthening and weakening, is usually observed in hysterical persons, who in this form demonstrate changes in their attitudes and feelings towards a partner or try to put psychological pressure on him.
The current situation is extremely unpleasant for a partner who feels disgusted with him. Usually men regard this as a blow to prestige. Some people reconcile with this, others try to “check” with other women, and some force their partner to cohabit, treating the aversion as a pretense.
Feeling a woman of sexual aversion on the part of a man deals a strong blow to her self-esteem, is perceived as a denial of her female attractiveness. Causes are usually sought in the appearance of another woman’s partner, sometimes he is accused of homosexual inclinations. In such a situation, women often seek to confirm their attractiveness with other men. Sexual aversion is much more common in women (10: 1). Such a big difference is due to the causes of the aversion, which include:
– growing conflict between partners. Negative feelings, which are either suppressed or hidden, gradually begin to make themselves felt by the disappearance of interest in intimacy. Subsequent sex becomes more difficult and unpleasant. Following the outbreak of an aversion, which serves as an expression of the discharge of repressed feelings, a complete rejection of the partner occurs;
– Aversion as a reaction to the psycho-poisoning or inadequate behavior of the partner. May occur acutely with treason and the discovery of the so-called double life. In other cases, it increases gradually and is associated with the lifestyle and level of hygiene of the partner, causing strong rejection. So, bad breath or from sweaty feet can serve as a powerful detonator of aversion. In the event that a partner does not look after itself, the aversion increases, covering not only the sphere of intimate relations, but also changes the attitude towards him as a person. This is one of the most common mechanisms to which men sometimes are neglected. However, some women do not hesitate to engage in personal hygiene during menstruation in the presence of her husband, walking around the house in dirty clothes, unwashed and unkempt. Persons who emphasize physical cleanliness, neat appearance, react to partners who do not meet their expectations, with sexual aversion. Unfortunately, it happens that during the premarital period a person watches himself, wanting to gain recognition, I get approval from the object of adoration, but after the wedding he begins to think that he can behave at home as he pleases, and ceases to observe tidiness;
– Aversion as the last stage of sexual dysfunctions. For example, if a woman does not experience an orgasm, then sex life gradually becomes indifferent or even unpleasant for her, and with long-term anorgasmia can cause disgust. It also happens that the disorder with which the partner suffers (for example, premature ejaculation) interferes with the satisfaction of the woman and causes her unwillingness of intimacy. If a man is not treated and the situation does not change, the feeling of vexation, aggressiveness and eventually aversion join the disappointment. In principle, any sexual difficulties under certain conditions can lead to aversion. These conditions include the duration of the disorder, its underestimation, lack of cooperation and dialogue between partners, evasion of seeking help, etc .;
– Aversion as an expression of disappointment with the realities of the marriage union. If the marriage partner was expected to realize many hopes, but for various reasons this did not happen, they blame him for the disappointment that had arisen, which in the end could provoke sexual aversion towards him;
– aversion as a reaction to the proposal of a partner of unacceptable forms of sexual intercourse (analyzes, group sex, etc.). Sometimes it is enough just to talk about such needs so that a partner will be disgusted. More often it occurs after attempts at declining to the forms of proximity, which lie beyond the limits of the range of acceptability;
– sexual aversion as a result of inadequate attitudes towards sex due to improper sex education or rigid religious attitudes. There are cases when, under the influence of appropriate educational influences, negative attitudes towards sex, body, sex, and sexual aversion can gradually arise at the very beginning of sexual activity with a partner.
These are the most common causes, but in fact they are much more. Often, revealing the true mechanisms of sexual aversion hidden in the unconscious is a very difficult task.
W. Masters and V. Johnson (1986) note that in typical cases of sexual aversion, the frequency of sexual contact drops to 1-2 times a year and less. In marriage or long-term partnerships, the disorder without treatment usually results in a complete breakdown of the relationship.